significance...

as i was writing a precious friend of mine today, i was remembering what someone spoke to me i guess maybe 20 years ago now...i was a very young Christian, insecure in my own skin, naive, over-trusting...at that age when i wanted so much more, but the process seemed so difficult...
I remember distinctly as this person spoke this to me - you are God's garden, your heart is His garden...at the time i was vulnerable, wounded, damaged if you will, but the picture that was described to me remains as vivid today as it did then - there were rolling hills far off, a gentle stream down one side, it was a beautiful crisp, clear day, and a lone fragile fence adorned with pink climbing roses...but what i remember most was as i looked in one direction, there was only the color gray...shades varied from light to dark, it was cold, jagged, barren...i thought to myself "what part of my life does that represent?" "how could that be in my heart?" as the days moved on my questions were answered, the tragedy that happened at that time in my life i can fault to no one, no matter how hard i tried, what was taken from me, was exactly that, taken...but restoration would come, trust would be regained, and mending would take place in so many ways...and the lesson that a garden is a process, and will always be remains a theme in my life today...
over the years, I would remember the garden, as I would pray, I could see how some areas were still dusty and rocky, some were matted with weeds, thorns and briars, some where the gate held tightly to keep things in, or maybe out....some things needed tending to, and others needed fresh planting...some just let me enjoy the fragrance and the beauty...
I'm grateful today that I can always close my eyes, and pray, and see just where I'm at in the progress of my garden. .. and though it's been many years, there has been death and new growth, there are monuments placed there now that I hold dear, remembrances of God's faithfulness, memorials of love and hurts, family and friends, blooms where tears have fallen, a flowing stream when I just need a quiet place and most importantly, His presence is always there...
it seems as if it's been a while since i've visited there myself, i am so glad it was brought to my remembrance...today has been a day of wondering "what's next" in the process...a day of wondering if my simple existence is fulfilling the destiny for which i was created, a day of consciously appreciating the relationships i have been blessed with and the ones that have even if only for a brief moment touched my garden in some way...and has brought me to wonder who if any, have i touched in the same way?
we all long for significance...today i long for the garden of my heart to be a vessel that God is allowed to flow through, and His beauty to flow from...