november...

i have been here in Jax. for 8 weeks now, probably the most challenging and emotional of my life...since last writing dad has taken a turn for the worse in the dementia realm, much better almost healed in the foot infection side though....
i have rented our house to a nice Christian couple for 2 years, Bills are still covered, mom is very well. I continue to Praise God daily for ordering our steps and blessing us as we honor my mom and dad. God is so faithful in taking care of every little thing as He promised me from the day I arrived - I just have to let Him and stop getting so stressed so easily when things seem so overwhelming...

Moving stuff out of mom & dad's has been a struggle, the stuff just keeps multiplying...and the time is limited. this weekend to moving all the stuff from GA to a temporary storage unit while we are getting the carpet done, etc...
In my mind I've redesigned the entire home...it's going to take a while to get there though.

Emotionally I've been on a roller coaster, dad good one minute, crazy the next....it's hard, sad and at times I pray to Jesus to release him, take hin into His loving arms and go peacefully to heaven in his sleep....I know I'm horrible to think that, I just don't want him to lose all his faculties before he goes...I just want him to be at peace and out of pain...

I love my dad but admit am scared to care for him and mom together. Mom is pretty easy, very set routine and predictable...dad, well today not so much... today he spent his time on a ship, on the deck where he was told to take his post, as well as getting verbally abusive and agitated to almost everyone he came in contact with...we are seeking an additional psych consult, trying to find some happy medium in his treatment...i pray each day for wisdom and more wisdom and strength from somewhere I know I don't seem to possess, at least emotionally...

I love you dad, I pray for peace and a sound mind...