i go through the periods of reflection, i guess we all do, it's part of the growth process...seeing where we are, where we've been, where we'd like to be...this time i've really been asking the Lord to possess character like this person's kindness, or this person's wisdom...i think we all have this image in our mind of who or what we think we should be like and when we see in demonstrated in someone else we think "if i only could be like that!" Maybe it's just me (don't think so but maybe...) i think my picture has changed over the years, i still am envious of those women that seem to spew Godly gentleness and kindness with their every word, that when they open their mouths you know greatness is getting ready to happen...i think that picture always had this part that said "you are going to be somebody" you know, someone significant...
as i was reading an article of a interior decorator that i admire, i remember saying in my heart, "Lord i want to have her life, to be just like her..." and as clear as you are hearing these words from me, the Lord spoke to my heart and said "You will never be 'just like her' because I have made you 'just like you'. Not that your are any lesser than her, or greater than her...just different than her." The things you have done and experienced and have lived I have specifically designed for you, she couldn't do what you have done, you couldn't do what she has done...it's that simple...take joy in knowing I admire you for exactly who and what you are and enjoy transforming and changing you into my image and walking with you in your perfect will...
no matter how insignificant i think my life may be, i guess i have become significant, in God's plan...so I praise God for my bluntness and ask Him to sprinkle it with kindness, and I praise God for my inability to say the right thing all the time and ask Him for His grace when i truly need His words, and I praise God for making me, me...and ask that He continues to change me to all that He wants me to be...
I still admire Leah's talent, and when she speaks how her words flow of God's love and sweetness, and, oh, i really like her haircut...but I'm Ok to NOT have her life, because God has given me mine...and even though at times it seems small, and insignificant to me...He doesn't see it that way...
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