caution tape...

i'm thinking this rant for lack of a better word today is going to be much more appreciated by the female friends in my life, but hey, maybe some of you guys can learn a thing or two...
two or three days a month it seems that i am overtaken by an alternate being - one without rational thought or emotional balance of any sort, and certainly lacking in any sort of tact, filter for the mouth or patience for those driving less than the speed limit in the fast lane;
i think however that someone in the vast universe should have written down all those "unwritten" rules that women should and should not do those two or three days...at the top of that list should be "never get your hair cut when under the influence of PMS". first, you are already delusional enough to take with you that photo of the perfect hair of meg ryan or halle berrie and assume that you will come out transformed to their very likeness, and not just their hair and second you will always regret that impulsive trendy style at least for the next 6 weeks...
next on the list would be car maintenance; now to all that know me, i can change my own oil, tires, spark plugs, and will attempt just about anything else, but there must be some subliminal sign that we emit that says "hey, i'm a woman and i know nothing about cars, please overcharge me now." my simple wiring issue has now become my sole desire to trade in my car for a new one just so i don't have to hear the words "new transmission".
third on the list, and these really are in no particular order, as they can randomly occur at any time, is realize the words coming out of my mouth have no real meaning or substance whatsoever, and in reality, if you were really in tune and listening, you would actually know i probably mean the exact opposite...
they should make this caution tape like they have at construction sites or better yet crime scenes that we can wrap around ourselves for that brief period of time, and take down when all things are clear...
with that said, i'm going to get some m&m's and popcorn...yes and eat them together!!!